He Remembered (Loras and Renly)
by SearchingForOurFaultedStars
Summary: This was just something that I came up with randomly. Loras and Renly are one of my favourite couples ever and I thought it would sweet if I could write something about them, even if it is kind of short. This is my take on what Loras' life is like after Renly's death.


The waves of the sea crashed on the rocky cliffs of the shore and the smell of salt hung thick in the air. The sky was a light shade of grey and only a few rays of sun peered through the gaps in the clouds. Today, the wind was blowing fiercely about the castle grounds.

The weather here at Storm's End wasn't always the most pleasant or enjoyable, but it was where Loras felt most at peace. Here he could think about his past. Standing on the top of the rocky cliff that overlooked the salty sea, Loras thought about how he had come to Storm's End so many years before to become a squire, and eventually a knight.

He remembered the slight apprehension that he felt when he walked into Renly's court for the first time, just a small boy, but filled with eagerness to show that was the best swordsmen there, better than even Renly's guards.

He remembered how he and Renly as no more than boys became the best of friends, spending every waking moment together exploring the castle grounds, play fighting, and occasionally stealing food from the kitchen. With all the ruckus that they had caused, Loras and Renly made quite the mischievous pair. They became so close that Renly shared his deepest thoughts and emotions with Loras, crying on his shoulder as he confessed the feeling of abandonment he felt when both Robert and Stannis left him all alone, with no family to call his own.

He remembered the long hours he would spend under the hot afternoon sun, practicing his combat skills while Renly looked on proudly, a smile of admiration on his lips. When Loras won a fight, Renly would stand up and clap his hands, cheering loudly, Loras smiling with happiness and pride.

He remembered when Renly had first told him that he loved him, standing in this very spot. It was a beautiful moment between the two of them. The sun was setting on the horizon, reflecting off of the shine in Renly's brown hair, taking Loras' breath away, as Renly spoke those three words for the first time.

"I love you."

He had continued on, "I love you, Loras. You are perfect. You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen. Every time I look at you, I know that you are the only person I want to be with for the rest of my life. I never want to leave your side. I would rather die for you, than see you get hurt." Loras had put his arms over Renly's shoulders as Renly carefully placed his hands on Loras' waist, pulling him closer, their lips touching in a deep and passionate kiss, both not caring about anything else in the entire world, but each other.

He remembered the first time they made love. Loras' heart beating rapidly with nervousness, but Renly had laid down next to him, running his fingers through Loras' curly hair, holding him close, gently pressing kisses to his face as their bodies moved in time with the other, one of them occasionally letting out a small moan. Afterwards, they had fallen asleep in each other's arms, Loras not desiring anything else in the entire world.

He remembered the glances they would give each other when they were seated together during court. Loras could recall the skip of heartbeats he had felt and the redness in Renly's cheeks when they stared each other in the eye. During those times, it was so hard to pretend to be somebody that you were not just for the purposes of pleasing others. The anxiety was nearly finished them, but the relief at the end of the day when they embraced each other like they had been apart for years was the best feeling anyone could hope for.

He remembered when Renly married Margaery in order to form a solid alliance between House Baratheon, Renly's side of course, Stannis off gathering his own host, and House Tyrell. The jealousy, hurt, and pain was all to present in Loras. He felt betrayed and tossed to the side and kept his gaze firmly locked on the ground for the duration of the ceremony. Loras was angry that his lover was being taken away from him. Renly belonged to him, no one else, and that was the way it should have remained. Despite his deep-rooted anger and jealousy, Loras was glad that it was he and Renly who shared the marriage bed that night.

He remembered walking into Renly's tent the night he died. Loras had been denying the fact that Renly had fallen and Stannis had defeated them, thinking that it was all just a joke, a trick of sorts, that someone was playing to take away his sharp wits. It was only confirmed when Loras saw Renly's body lying there on the bed, unmoving, hard and cold. This was not the Renly he had known. This was not the Renly that he had spent nearly half his life with. This was not the Renly that he had shared so many intimate moments with. This was not the Renly who smiled and laughed and treated everyone around him so kindly. This was not Renly. Renly was gone. His sweet, loving Renly, never to return. Loras had spent nearly the entire night by Renly's bedside screaming with grief, unable to take proper breaths in between sobs. He refused to leave his lord alone, hoping that there was a small chance that he might wake up.

But he never did.

It took four mean to tear Loras away so that they could bury the body. Loras had never felt so broken and alone. What his purpose in life, now that Renly was gone? What was he to do?

He remembered the years that he had spent at Highgarden, no one able to pull him out of his misery and grief. Every day was a struggle. A struggle to move, a struggle to wake up, a struggle to attempt to live a normal life. Loras never married, never had any children. He was and always would be in love with Renly, and there was no one else that he would rather give his love too, not even for all the gold in the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros.

That was how the last few decades of Loras' life had been spent. Wallowing in grief at Highgarden, never once smiling or laughing, until he had been allowed to come here to Storm's End to live out his last days on this godforsaken earth. Storm's End was where Renly had lived most of his life. Loras could sometimes feel his presence here, his scent caught in a nook or corner, a sense of an extra pair of eyes watching over him. Every so often, Loras would even pay a visit to Renly's bedchambers, which had been left unused after his death, so that he could imagine what life would have been like had Renly lived on. This was comforting and all, but no matter what Loras did, he could not bring Renly back. He missed him so very dearly. His touch, his smell, and the way he held and kissed Loras.

Stepping off the edge of the cliff, Loras smiled to himself.

He would be with Renly soon.


End file.
